One of the very first (and biggest) decisions you’ll make while planning your wedding is what kind of celebration feels most true to you. Do you imagine an adventurous elopement with just the two of you? An intimate gathering of your closest family and friends? Or a big, joy-filled party with all of your loved ones in one place?
There’s no single “right” answer—it’s about creating a day that feels authentic to your relationship. Below, I’ll walk you through some questions to help you figure out whether an elopement, an intimate wedding, or a larger wedding is the best fit for your personalities, priorities, and dreams.
Do You Like Being the Center of Attention?
Some people light up when all eyes are on them. Others? Not so much.
- If you love the spotlight: You might thrive at a larger wedding, where your big moments—walking down the aisle, making a grand entrance, giving a toast—are shared with a bigger audience.
- If you’d rather keep things low-key: An elopement or intimate wedding could be the perfect fit. Smaller gatherings let you feel more relaxed and focus on the people who matter most (without feeling like you’re on stage all day).
Where Do You Picture Saying “I Do”?
The setting you imagine for your vows is a big clue to the type of wedding that’s right for you.
- Dreaming of a venue? If you picture yourself in a vineyard, rustic barn, elegant ballroom, or chic downtown space, a larger wedding might be the way to go. Venues are built to host groups of people and often simplify the planning process.
- Drawn to the outdoors? If the idea of exchanging vows at sunrise in a national park, deep in the forest, or on top of a mountain makes your heart race, then eloping or planning a small, adventurous wedding could be your dream day.
How Much Do You Enjoy Planning?
Be honest with yourself here—are you energized by planning, or does it stress you out?
- If you love organizing: Maybe you already have spreadsheets, Pinterest boards, and color-coded calendars going. In that case, planning a 20+ person wedding might be exciting for you, and you’ll enjoy coordinating all the moving pieces.
- If you’re easily overwhelmed: If just hearing the words “seating chart” makes you want to run away, a smaller wedding could take that pressure off. With fewer people to plan for, you can keep things simple and stress-free.
Who Do You Want Around You on Your Wedding Day?
This is one of the most important questions to ask yourself.
- Just the two of you: If your perfect day is about soaking up every moment together without distractions, an elopement gives you that space.
- Closest circle only: If you want your parents, siblings, or a handful of best friends with you, an intimate wedding with 10–20 guests is a beautiful balance of meaningful and manageable.
- All your loved ones: If you dream of celebrating with everyone—extended family, old friends, coworkers—then a slightly larger wedding or a separate reception is probably the right fit.
What’s Your Budget?
Your guest list plays a huge role in how far your budget goes.
- Smaller weddings: With fewer guests, it’s easier to splurge on incredible food, unique experiences, or thoughtful details. You can add personal touches, like handwritten notes for each guest or one-of-a-kind favors, without stretching yourself thin.
- Larger weddings: More people doesn’t automatically mean compromising on what matters to you. With some creative prioritizing, you can still focus on the things that are most important—whether that’s an amazing meal, live music, or a beautiful venue.
Do You Want a Hybrid Celebration?
If you don’t fit neatly into one category, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to choose just one! Many couples opt for a hybrid approach: an intimate elopement day with just the two of them, followed by a larger reception to celebrate with friends and family. This way, you get the best of both worlds—private, meaningful time together and a joyful party with everyone you love.
So… Which Wedding Is You?
At the end of the day, there’s no single “best” type of wedding—only the one that feels right for you. Whether you envision a quiet sunrise vow exchange, a cozy dinner with your closest people, or a big, joyful celebration, your wedding should be a reflection of your relationship and what matters most to you.
✨ Still not sure which option is right for you? I’d love to chat through your ideas and help you imagine a day that feels perfect for you.
